Have you struggled with attracting and maintaining healthy relationships? Have you experienced childhood trauma? Does your inner child need healing?
Your inner child is a big part of your life. It is that innocent child that lives within your psyche. It is curious, playful, and embodies pure innocence. Your inner child can inspire your life. They are precious and love you unconditionally.
It is likely that your parents did the best they could in their parenting based on their level of knowledge and education, personal trauma, and financial, emotional, mental, and physical resources. There are no perfect parents or ideal childhoods. Everyone is carrying around baggage from when they were a child.
Here are common ways that inner child wounds are created:
- You were scolded for speaking up and sharing your views
- You were told that your ideas were not acceptable
- You were rejected for being different
- You were isolated and had limited interactions with others
- You were bullied by your family
- You were criticized for your actions and behaviors
- You were not allowed to play or be spontaneous
- You were disciplined for showing your emotions
- You were shamed for your physical appearance
- You were emotionally, mentally, physically abused on a regular basis
- You were denied any physical affection
Sometimes inner child wounds are ancestral. Your parents and/or grandparents had similar experiences during their childhood. There are several ways you may have been made to feel unloved or unsafe. Some of these will include Emotional, Mental, and/or Physical neglect.
This is created in environments that do not allow children to have healthy emotional reactions to their experiences. In these situations, a child’s emotional needs have not been adequately met. This can cause low self-worth. They may have repressed their emotions and not been able to express them in a healthy manner. They may attract relationships that involve emotional drama.
Parents who have neglected to listen and nurture the minds of their children cause mental neglect. They may have been more focused on their own personal needs. The children were ignored or rejected on a consistent basis. They developed low self-esteem and struggled with learning healthy communication skills and respect for others. They may attract relationships that are mentally abusive and destructive.
The child may not have been given a safe and nourishing environment. They may have lacked the basics of food, clothing, and shelter. These children could have experienced physical abuse that created fear and uncertainty in their life. This experience can create physical neglect and abuse of one’s self including attracting abusive relationships. There may be eating disorders or issues with self-harm. These children may struggle with coping addictions throughout their life.
This neglect in your childhood creates inner child wounds. Some individuals may bury these wounds deep within and be unaware of how these wounds directly impact their current relationships.
INNER CHILD WOUNDS
Inner child wounds include guilt, abandonment, trust, & neglect.
These individuals attract partners that make them feel guilty. They manipulate their partners in the relationship. The wounded individual tends to not ask for help. These individuals may have not been able to ask for things as a child. They want to take care of everyone else in their life instead of focusing on their own needs.
These individuals attract partners that are unavailable. They will seek individuals unable to fully commit to a relationship. They can be dependent on everyone and are afraid to be alone. They hold on too tight to the relationship which manifests as being clingy or needy. These individuals have the perception that their parents or caregivers abandoned them.
Trust “Betrayal” Wound
These individuals attract partners they are unable to trust. They are insecure and lack confidence in themselves. It is difficult for them to trust anyone in their life. They do not feel safe to be themselves in their relationships. Their parents were not able to keep their promises or were inconsistent in their parenting. These individuals have a strong need to control their relationships.
These individuals attract partners that do not appreciate them, or are unable to truly see them. These individuals will repress their emotions. They are easy to anger. Their parents did not take time to nurture their relationship so they feel unseen and unheard.
Michael Jackson says it perfectly in the song, “Childhood.”
Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?
People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
For the Childhood I’ve never known…
Inner child healing needs to include reconnection, release, and realignment.
Become aware of the needs of your inner child. What does the innocent and playful child within need?
- Does your inner child need to be in nature?
- Does your inner child need to be creative?
- Does your inner child need to have more play?
- Does your inner child need to be nurtured and loved?
- Does your inner child need to be seen or heard?
Commit to the needs of your inner child. There are many ways you can heal the little soul within you.
- I have a stuffed Pooh bear on my couch in the living room. I like to love on my bear as I watch TV in the evening. This allows me an opportunity to nurture my inner child.
- I have a basket of adult coloring books. I like to color in these books after a stressful day. It allows me to process the energies of the day by being creative.
What commitments can you do to reconnect to your inner child?
Become aware of the emotional triggers that surface in your relationships connected to your inner child wounds and insecurities.
- When was the wound created?
- What is the root of the wound?
- Was the reaction based on an inner fear?
Take some time for reflection. This is a good opportunity to journal and to dig into the emotions that have presented themselves.
- Can you write a letter to your inner child?
- Can you write a letter to your parent(s)?
- Can you work with your inner child in meditation?
- Can you schedule some sessions with a healing practitioner?
I recommend cord cuttings for clients that need inner child healing. Find out more about Cord Cutting here: https://discoveryourspiritualgifts.com/emotional-release-cord-cutting-service
As you reconnect and release your inner child wounds, create a regular practice of committing to time with your inner child. These can be inner child activities:
- Taking a dance class
- Participating in a craft group or class
- Attending a painting party or class
- Going to a Psychic Tea Party
- Spending the day with family/friends
- Joining a Magical Fairy Playshop
Make the time to reconnect, release, and realign with your inner child.
WRITTEN BY VIALET RAYNE, MAGICAL CREATOR OF DISCOVER YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Vialet has been on a healing path her whole life. She has been called a spiritual guardian that is strongly connected and highly intuitive. A teacher, coach, healer, and spiritual leader that dreams of a peaceful and harmonious world.
Her mission is to provide individuals with the tools and resources to discover their own healing powers within themselves so they may empower their own lives. Vialet’s spiritual journey has provided her with everyday life rituals, experiences, and spiritual wisdom that allow her to overcome difficult situations and to create a life that she has always dreamed of.