How can we perfect our boundaries? When setting boundaries, we are setting limits around our time, as well as our emotional, mental, and physical bodies. We each have a limited amount of time and energy every day and we are in control of how we would like to use these resources. By taking your power back, you can create a healthy life for yourself.
HONESTY/TRUTH
Can you look objectively at your life? This requires you to step back and examine your life from a different lens. The key questions: What do you need and what is important to you? Discard what others think, what others need, and what others want when asking these questions.
EXAMPLE: Your daughter may have a commitment to be at swim practice every day at 4 PM. This additional task may be overwhelming, but it is important to you that you support her. She will not have this opportunity forever and you will not be required to commit to a lifetime of swim practices. You may also consider partnering with other parents to share the load of taking the kids to swim practice. This could be a win-win for everyone.
Take time to Make a List of all the things you have committed to doing in your daily life. How often is the commitment? How does it support you and your dreams? What is the gift being given to others or yourself?
BOUNDARIES
There are lots of areas that require an understanding of the boundary setting that you may want to explore and to set to reclaim your own time and energy.
- Social Media: How much time? How much information will you share? Who should have access?
- Personal space: How much time do you want to share with others? How much time do you need to recharge?
- Time: How much time do you want to give away? How much do you want for yourself?
- Emotional energy: What is your emotional limit? What do you need to have emotional balance in your life?
- Finances: How will you budget your finances? How much discretionary income do you want to commit? How will you give back?
- Values: What is important to you? What is worth fighting for?
- Sexuality: What are the boundaries of your sexuality? What is your comfort level?
- Respect: How will you respect yourself and others?
You can set boundaries within all the relationships in your life. Also consider respecting the boundaries that others have set for themselves. This may require you to ask permission or questions of other’s boundaries.
Boundaries are important for creating healthy and balanced relationships in our lives. You can easily get lost in your work, relationships, obligations, and service commitment to others. When you set the boundaries and stick to them, you can find more joy and peace within your life.
PEOPLE PLEASER
Individuals that want to please everyone in their life will lose themselves in everyone else’s expectations. The result can lead to feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and drained. These people may lack the confidence to set their boundaries, or they fear setting boundaries will keep people from loving and/or accepting them. These actions will not create healthy relationships.
COMMUNICATION
Communicate and let others know your boundaries. Some individuals will set boundaries, but they will not communicate their limits. It is okay to say, “I would be happy to help with the project. I can commit to two hours on Friday. Will that help?”
Be honest by stating your needs in a kind and respectful manner. EXAMPLE: “Mary, I would love to help. However, this is a busy time of the year for me, and I do not have the time. Keep me in mind for later in the Spring and I will commit some time to the troop.”
Do not feel guilty about your decision. You must love yourself enough to create clear boundaries. When you are happy and healthy, you will be in a better place for all the relationships in your life. Keep in mind, No is a complete sentence.
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You can view the video at: https://youtu.be/YB6nBguVi0U
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WRITTEN BY VIALET RAYNE, MAGICAL CREATOR OF DISCOVER YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Vialet has been on a healing path her whole life. She has been called a spiritual guardian that is strongly connected and highly intuitive. A teacher, coach, healer, and spiritual leader that dreams of a peaceful and harmonious world.
Her mission is to provide individuals with the tools and resources to discover their own healing powers within themselves so they may empower their own lives. Vialet’s spiritual journey has provided her with everyday life rituals, experiences, and spiritual wisdom that allow her to overcome difficult situations and to create a life that she has always dreamed of.
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